Why Perfectionism Can Hit So Much on Your Mental Health
Perfectionism. It's often seen as a positive feature, something you can be proud of. Someone who never settles for anything less than the best, who is driven and always sets the bar high. But behind that drive, there is often a completely different story: a story of pressure, fear and an insatiable urge to be better and better. For many people, perfectionism is more than just an aspiration; it's an invisible burden that weighs heavily on their mental health.
The Roots of Perfectionism: Where Does It Start?
Perfectionism often has deep roots. Maybe it started with well-intentioned words from parents or teachers: “You can do this, but try again and see if you can do it even better.” Or maybe you grew up in an environment where performance was rewarded and mistakes were viewed with a strict eye. At a young age, you learn that success leads to admiration and mistakes lead to disappointment, and so you slowly become convinced that you are only good enough if you do everything perfectly.
For some, perfectionism comes from the desire to be loved, to be valued. The idea arises that if you don't make mistakes, as long as you do everything right, people around you won't reject you. This deep, often unconscious need for approval can cause you to make unrealistic demands on yourself, afraid to disappoint others. Perfectionism then becomes a shield that you wear to ward off criticism, but at the same time it is a shield that feels increasingly heavy.
The Invisible Toll: How Perfectionism Affects Your Mental Health
Perfectionism involves constant pressure — pressure to always do your best, not to make mistakes, to always give the best. But that pressure can be exhausting. It ensures that you are always' on ', always on edge. And that is tiring. What once seemed like a healthy ambition is turning into a source of anxiety and tension. Mistakes are no longer seen as learning opportunities, but as personal failures. And the critical voice in your head is getting louder.
People who are perfectionists often experience a vicious cycle of self-criticism and guilt. A task that feels “good enough” to others is not enough for them. It needs to be better, a little tighter, even more perfect. But that drive for perfection makes it difficult to ever be truly satisfied with your own performance. The satisfaction is always fleeting, always just out of reach. And in the background, there is always the fear of slipping up, of being seen as “insufficient”.
Breaking Perfectionism: The Beginning of Self-Compassion
Recognition and self-compassion are two powerful tools for dealing with perfectionism. Realizing that the drive for perfection hurts your mental health is the first step. Letting go of perfectionism doesn't mean giving up on your ambitions; it means learning to be kinder to yourself. Making mistakes doesn't mean you're failing. It means you are human.
Self-compassion means learning to look at yourself with gentleness, to stop measuring yourself against unattainable standards. It means allowing yourself to be less than perfect — and still see your value in that. After all, you are so much more than your achievements or successes.
Conclusion
Perfectionism can feel like an incessant race where you never reach the end. It places a heavy burden on your mental health, a burden that is unnecessary and that you can learn to let go. Because what if good enough can just be good enough? What if you can accept that mistakes, growth, and sometimes failure are all part of life?
When we learn to let go of perfectionism, there is room for rest, self-compassion and true satisfaction. It may take courage to take that first step, but know that you are not alone. Many people carry this burden with them, often without others seeing it. Let us allow ourselves and each other to be less than perfect, and to find our strength in that.