Old sore: We're all dealing with it. They are scars from our past, emotional wounds that we carry with us for a long time. Old pain can hinder us, hinder our happiness, and can even cause illness. As a young adult, I was already well aware that I had to clear my blockages because I was convinced that otherwise I would get sick. However, that was not my only conviction. After all, there were also many life lessons that enriched me.
Old pain refers to emotional pain and negative feelings caused by events in our past. It can range from childhood traumas and failed relationships to profound disappointments and unfulfilled dreams. These emotions are often not processed properly and remain unresolved, casting a shadow over our current life.
Old pain can have a serious impact on both our mental and physical health. It can lead to anxiety, depression, stress, and even physical problems. It also influences our relationships and ability to enjoy the present. When we hold on to old pain, it continues to guide our choices and behavior, preventing us from reaching our full potential.
Denial or Avoidance:
Avoiding confronting old pain or denying its impact can lead to an accumulation of unprocessed emotions. Suppressing emotions in the hope that they will disappear on their own often worsens the old pain. It keeps happening again and again and gets worse, so you end up not even understanding where something comes from. If old age is not addressed, old patterns of behavior and thinking can repeat themselves in future relationships and situations. Emotions that have not been expressed or processed persist at the core of old pain.
Self-criticism and self-blame can feed old people. Continuing to blame yourself for the painful events of the past can lead to low self-esteem and ongoing emotional pain.
Comparisons with Others:
Comparing yourself to others, especially when others seem to thrive despite similar traumas or difficulties, can greatly strengthen old age. This can cause feelings of injustice and jealousy. While you don't know if this is really the case at all, you're filling it in yourself. More important in this difficult process is that you should not bother with someone else.
Resentment and Revenge:
Harboring resentment and feelings of revenge against those held responsible for old pain can create a vicious cycle. This keeps the pain and anger alive and prevents healing. Often, if you look back at the situation or a person from a distance and delve into why something happened, you might even feel empathy as you're more advanced in your own healing.
Set limits:
A lack of personal boundaries can nourish old people because it can be difficult to protect yourself from repetition of painful experiences. This can lead to the repetition of harmful patterns. That can never be your intention, and the first time you set your limits can be difficult. But you'll definitely feel proud, while letting yourself walk all over you will always feel bad. Everyone has that phrase afterwards: “If only I had said or done this.”
Old pain can lead to a negative self-image, which in turn greatly reinforces old age. If you believe you are unworthy or that you deserve the pain, you will have trouble healing. Ask yourself, as hard as you are with yourself, would you be, if you spoke to yourself at the age of nine? I bet not, so why now? Why can't you just love yourself? Why is that always so fraught? You would make the world a lot more pleasant for yourself and others if you just love yourself very much, because you're always doing your best, and if you don't sometimes, that's fine too.
Perfectionism:
The pursuit of perfection as a way to alleviate the pain of old pain can lead to constant stress and feelings of inadequacy. And what does perfectionism actually mean? Are you doing that for yourself or someone else? If you do that for yourself, it seems tiring to me. And for another, it shows that you need someone else's approval, which means you think another person is better than you. Steps to Let Go of Old Sore
Recognize and Acknowledge:
The first and most important thing is to recognize and acknowledge old pain. This means becoming aware of the painful events of your past and the emotions they evoked. It can be helpful to relive these events to see what you can get out of them. No one wants this, but it can be more positive than you think. Maybe if you don't dare to do it alone, you can ask someone you trust to guide you through this. Of course, it also depends on the degree of pain; sometimes EMDR also offers a solution.
Acknowledging emotions:
Allow yourself to feel and acknowledge your emotions. It's normal to feel sad, angry, disappointed, or hurt because of old pain. Don't be alarmed if this keeps changing in waves. Suppressing these emotions can complicate the process. It can also make it take longer. I've heard stories of people over sixty who are still stuck. How sad and a shame is that?
Process and Accept:
It's essential to process these emotions and accept them as part of your life story. This does not mean that you approve, but rather that you understand that it happened and that you no longer want to be lived by it.
Keep a journal where you can express your thoughts and emotions. This is a personal outlet for your feelings, and this reduces the weight. It's literally writing something off you.
You can also write letters to the people who were involved in the events that caused old pain. You don't have to actually send these letters, but they can help you express and let go of your feelings.
Forgive (including yourself): Letting go of old pain often includes forgiveness. This means that you not only forgive others for any injuries, but also yourself. It is an important step towards healing. Use your past experiences as learning opportunities. What can you get out of it? How can they help you grow and become stronger? Try not to get stuck in it so you don't become an angry or bitter person. This can't be what you had in mind before this happened to you. Focus on the present and on your future goals. Stop letting the past control your life.
Conclusion
Old pain can be a heavy burden, but it is possible to let go and find emotional freedom. It takes time, effort, and self-reflection, but the reward is a life that is no longer affected by the shadows of the past. It's never too late to start letting go and working towards a happier, healthier life.